And I Loved Him Because
by All4Reba31
Summary: Kyra comes home after being away at school. That's it, I don't want to give anything away.
1. Welcome Home, Kyra

A/N: This is all fake. As much as I want to, I don't own REBA or any of its characters or anything affiliated with the WB or its new network. Any characters or anything you don't recognize is all mine... and you can't have it.

A/N 2: Set in future... maybe season 6. Kyra comes home after a year away at school.

And I Loved Him Because

Chapter One: Welcome Home, Kyra.

"What time is Kyra supposed to be getting in?" Cheyenne asked her mother as she sat on the couch, flipping through a magazine. Her daughter, Elizabeth, now five, sat in front of her, coloring at the coffee table with her uncle Jake.

"Your Dad and Barbra Jean are pickin' her up at the airport soon….they're probably gonna grab a bite to eat, then they'll be bringin' her back here….I can't wait to see her, I've missed her so much!"

Cheyenne just smiled and went back to reading her magazine. They all waited for Kyra with some patience; and after a while, when they heard the turning of the doorknob, Reba became excited.

"Kyra?" Reba asked, her body slumping when she saw who it actually was behind the door. "Oh, it's just you."

"Daddy!" Elizabeth squealed and ran into Van's arms.

"Well, at least _someone_ is glad to see me." Van mocked. He picked Elizabeth up, then turned back to Reba.

"Did you guys know that Kyra is sitting out on the ledge on the porch?"

Reba looked shocked. "What?"

Cheyenne, Jake, Van and Elizabeth followed Reba outside to pull Kyra into a great big bear hug. "Welcome home!" Reba excitedly told her daughter; but she noticed something different about her. Her eyes were gray and gloomy and there was hardly an expression of joy on her face.

"Hey guys, why don't you go set the table for dinner and we'll be in in a minute."

They all went without protest and Reba closed the door behind them. Then she turned to look at Kyra, who had resumed her intense staring at the ground.

"Kyra? Are you okay?"

Reba didn't care why she hadn't come home with her dad or the fact that she hadn't bothered to come in and let someone know she was back; she just wanted to help her little girl, who obviously had something troubling her. She inched toward her and placed her hand on Kyra's back.

"Sweetie, I can't help you if I don't know what's wrong."

"Maybe I don't want help." Kyra snapped. Reba backed away. "I'm going home."

Reba stood there, shocked. This wasn't the kind of homecoming she had expected. She had planned to have a big dinner, then use the rest of the night to sit and talk about her year away at school. Instead, Kyra didn't even come in and tell anyone she was home, then she left upset.

Reba walked into the house and called Brock. She told him there was something bothering Kyra and that she was worried about her. Brock offered to talk to her and Reba's worries subsided for now.

* * *

"Kyra, can I come in?" Brock asked his daughter from the other side of her bedroom door.

Kyra rolled her eyes, "do whatever you want."

Brock opened the door and saw Kyra sitting on her bed, staring up at the ceiling. "What ya lookin' at?"

Kyra just stared at her dad. She wanted him to leave, and leave right away so she could be alone with her thoughts.

"Listen, your mom just called and said you were upset about something and that she was worried about you."

"I'm fine." Kyra lied. The truth was, she really did want to talk to her mom. That was the whole reason she went over there in the first place. But once she started to think about it again, it just hurt too much and her first defence was to protect herself. "I'll call mom tomorrow and let her know everything's okay."

"Are you sure?" Brock asked, becoming a little concerned himself.

"Yes. Now can you please leave? I want to be alone right now."

Brock eyed his daughter carefully as he moved closer to the door. Kyra slipped underneath the covers and placed her hands behind her head. She laid down and stared up at the ceiling. Brock slowly shook his head, before opening the door and leaving. He secretly hoped she would talk to somebody before it was too late.

* * *

Kyra walked up to her mother's front door. It was the middle of the night and she knew everyone was asleep, but she was still a little scared to go in. Many thoughts and different scenarios played out in her head as she placed her hand on the doorknob and gently pushed the door open.

The room was dark, so Kyra padded her way over to the couch. She laid down and pulled the blanket around her body.

'Why?' She whispered to herself, before crying herself to sleep.

"Kyra?" Reba asked while coming down the stairs the next morning. "What ya doin' sleepin' on the couch?"

Kyra jumped up, a little startled. She didn't want anyone to know that she was here. "Oh, I just didn't feel like sleeping at home."

Reba stepped down the last few steps, then stood behind the couch and turned to face Kyra, who had folded the blanket and started making her way to the front door. "Won't you stay for breakfast?" she pleaded, "I'd sure like to know how your trip was."

Kyra just shook her head no, horrible sadness still alive in her eyes. Reba sighed and was about to say something else when Kyra pulled the door open and left without saying another word.

"Oh Kyra, I wish you would let me help you." Reba whispered to herself, praying Kyra would come to her eventually.

"Who are you talking to, Ma?" Cheyenne asked, while strolling down the stairs for some breakfast. The rest of the family was not far behind her.

"Myself."

"Why were you talking to yourself?" Van asked.

"I was prayin' that Kyra would come talk to me. I wanna hear about her trip, and the reason she looks so sad now every time I see her." Reba explained, picking up Elizabeth and giving her grand-daughter a kiss good morning. Elizabeth giggled as Reba tickled her a little, then set her back down. She ran into the kitchen.

"She'll come to you, Mrs. H. If things get worse she knows that she _can _come to you." Van reassured her as he and Cheyenne followed Elizabeth into the kitchen.

Reba thought about it for a moment. "I sure hope so….."

TBC


	2. What's Wrong?

Chapter Two-What's Wrong?

Several days had passed and still Kyra hadn't said a word. Every time someone would ask her what was wrong, she'd immediately change the subject or just take off and go somewhere else. In her mind, it was still all too painful to talk about.

Kyra would still come to her mother's house every night and sleep on the couch; only this time she'd get up before everyone woke up and go back home, sneaking back into her own house and pretending to be asleep.

Reba worried greatly for her daughter, but her patience was wearing thin. It hurt Reba that her daughter seemed to be hurting so badly and wouldn't let anyone, especially her mom, help her. She wanted to just make her daughter's pain go away.

"Grandma, will you please play this game with me?" Elizabeth's little voice floated up behind Reba as she sat at the dining room table doing some paperwork. Reba looked down at Elizabeth, who held Candyland in her tiny hands.

"Of course I will, darlin'." She smiled.

"Yay!" Elizabeth exclaimed as she climbed up into the chair next to her grandma.

"Mommy says I go first," she demanded as she pulled out the board and gathered up all of the cards.

"Ok then go ahead, you start."

Elizabeth turned over the first card, which had the picture of the ice cream cone. A huge smile came to her lips.

"Aww you got the ice cream already!" Reba mock whined.

Elizabeth giggled. They took turns turning over cards, moving their game pieces along the board. They were both so focused on the game that neither of them noticed Kyra had walked in. She stood just in front of the couch; in that little space in between the table and the couch.

"Mom...?" She half-whispered.

Reba looked over in her direction, surprised. "Oh hey sweetie, I didn't notice you walk in. What's up?"

Kyra stood there, hesitating for a moment. She _wanted_ to say something; but was too afraid. "Never mind," She muttered and walked out the door just as Jake was coming down the stairs.

"Jake, I need you to do me a favour." Reba said as she got up from the table.

"What?"

"Keep an eye on Elizabeth for me. I need to go talk to your sister."

"Ok, Uncle Jakey, you can take over Grandma's place. She was right here on the candy cane." Elizabeth informed.

Reba left them alone and walked over to her ex-husbands house, trying to think of what to say to her daughter. She didn't want her to blow up like last time, she just wanted to help her let go.

She approached the front door and knocked on the hard wood. It took a few minutes, but finally someone came to the door.

"Hey Brock, I'm here to see Kyra." She implied.

"I don't think she wants to see anyone. She looked pretty upset when she came home... I asked her what was wrong and she did what she always does. She ignored me."

"I don't care," Reba protested, "my little girl is distraught and I'm gonna find out what the problem is."

Brock moved out of the way; he knew that when Reba was determined and had her mind set on something; she was going to follow through with it. There was no talking her out of it.

When Reba reached Kyra's bedroom door, she knocked softly before entering. Kyra was sitting on her bed with her knees pressed to her chest and her head resting on her knees.

"Hey," Reba started, softly. Although she was eager to find out what was going on, she also didn't want to put her on the defensive side either. Again.

"Hi." Kyra replied, shortly.

Reba moved closer to the bed, sat down by Kyra's feet and lightly tickled her arm. "I just want you to know that I'm here for you, Kyra. You'll feel alot better once you let it all out."

"Mom..." Kyra started, but had to stop. She kept going over and over in her head what she wanted to say, but couldn't get the words out past the lump in her throat.

"I'm trying so hard to say this, but it just hurts...so...bad."

"What hurts?" Reba's heart was breaking at the emotion in her daughters voice and the tears glistening in her eyes.

Kyra waited a few minutes, then cleared her throat. She was finally ready.

"When I was away at school, I met this guy. We started talking and eventually we became really good friends..." She paused, looking for some reassurance from her mother. Reba nodded.

"Well, I decided that since he was quite older than me that we would just stay really good friends. He agreed. But Mom, after a while, I fell for him. Hard. But I never told him how I felt."

"Why?"

"Because I wasn't really sure of what I was feeling and usually people just say 'oh, you're too young to know what love is.' I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep. I couldn't wait to talk to him when we were apart."

"That sounds like love to me..."

"Yeah," Kyra interrupted, "then one day I got a phone call, from his mom."

Kyra lowered her head and tried to stop the flood of emotions trying to choke her. Reba moved her hand and grabbed just underneath Kyra's elbow. That gave Kyra the courage to pick her head up. Then she finally let out what she had been trying to say all along...

"He killed himself, Mom."

Reba immediately wrapped her arms around her sobbing daughter. This was the first time since it happened that Kyra allowed herself to grieve. "Oh baby, I'm so sorry."

"I look back now and I think, maybe if I would've told him how I felt about him, maybe things would be different right now."

"Listen, I know you feel guilty, but you can't blame yourself. You have to believe he's in a better place now and forgive him... or else it's gonna eat you up."

Kyra let out a shaky breath. "It just hurts so bad, Mom."

"I know, baby." Reba said as she pulled Kyra closer.

TBC...

A/N: Please be patient with me... this fic is based on a personal event so it's taking longer than I expected to write. I hope you're still enjoying it.


	3. I Can Help You

Chapter Three-I Can Help You

"How long have you been holdin' this all in?" Reba asked as she pulled Kyra's hair out of her face.

"Since it happened... just before I left." Kyra pulled out of her mother's embrace and laid down on the bed. She felt tired; but didn't want to be alone. She sat back up.

"Oh Kyra," Reba shook her head sadly, "It helps to talk about what you're goin' through... that's part of the whole grieving process."

"I know, but I just couldn't. Mom, he meant the world to me... and then, he's gone. Just like that. I didn't even get to say goodbye..."

"I can't imagine what you're goin' through, Kyra; but I want you to know that I'm here for you, anytime you need me. Y'hear?" Reba paused and Kyra nodded her head in agreement.

"I don't care if it's 3am, don't go through this alone."

Kyra nodded again as fresh tears welled in her eyes. Reba wrapped her arms around her and held on tight as the tears slipped heatedly down Kyra's cheeks. She wanted so much for this hug to just take all the pain Kyra was feeling away; but she knew it was going to be a long process. Losing someone is hard; but losing someone you loved more than life itself is even harder.

"I loved how if I had a rough day or something, no matter what he was doing or how he felt, he'd drop everything just to make me feel better. Even if he had the worse day of his life, his feelings didn't matter. All he cared about was trying to cheer me up." Kyra paused and thought about it for a moment. "And I couldn't even do that for him."

"Don't do that. I think, deep down he knew how you felt."

"Then why does it still hurt like this?" Kyra choked out those last few words.

"Love's a complicated thing... and you can't just take away what you felt about him. That hurt will stay with you for a while, but it does get easier..."

"Mom, I'm kinda tired," Kyra started and Reba got up and started making her way toward the door.

"Ok, I'ma get outta here and let you get..."

"Mom?" Kyra interrupted. "Will you stay with me until I fall asleep?"

"Yeah honey, of course."

Kyra smiled for the first time in about a week. Then, she slipped underneath the covers and Reba sat down beside her on the bed. "Don't think about it anymore tonight. Just get some sleep."

Reba stroked her daughters hair until her eyes fluttered closed. She pulled the blanket up around her shoulders and gently caressed her tear-stained face. "God, please help my baby through this." She prayed, then kissed Kyra on the forehead and left the room.

* * *

"So, what's up with Kyra?" Brock asked as Reba came down the stairs into the living room. Barbra Jean was sitting next to Brock on the couch, eagerly waiting for Reba's answer. 

"She's sufferin' from a broken heart... and there is nothin' I can do to help her." Reba took a deep breath, trying to keep her voice relaxed and even. What Kyra was going through was killing her inside.

"She won't let you help her?" Barbra Jean asked.

"No... it's not that she won't let me, it's that I can't. When you lose someone who is that close to you; you're inconsolable. She's in so much pain, Brock and there's nothin' I can say that will take her pain away right now."

"Wait a minute, what are you talking about? Who did she lose?" Brock was a little shocked at what little detail Reba was giving him. He grabbed her by the arm and pulled her down on the couch.

"She met a boy up at school..."

"Oh great." Brock interrupted. "Here we go again."

"Will you let me finish?" Reba slapped him slightly on the arm. He nodded.

"They started talkin' and eventually Kyra fell in love with him but never told him how she felt."

"So what's the problem?" Brock was being ignorant and Reba knew it.

"He killed himself, Brock" She scowled.

"Oh." Brock's words were caught in his throat; he didn't know what else to say.

"An' now she feels guilty for not tellin' him how she felt."

"Oh, my little pookie bear." Barbra Jean said as she started to run up the stairs.

"Barbra Jean!" Reba protested, "She's sleepin' right now. I doubt she'll be too happy if you go up there an' wake her up."

Barbra Jean came back down the stairs and sat on the other side of Brock on the couch. The three parents just sat there trying to think of what to do next to try and help Kyra. What _do_ you say to someone who has had something terrible happen to them? All they could do know was just be there for her whenever she needed them.

"Now what?" Brock asked out of nowhere.

"I don't know..." Reba sighed.

TBC

A/N: If anybody has any suggestion for me for the next chapter I'd gladly embrace the help. I have no idea where I'm taking this story and no idea when I'm gonna write the next chapter. Things have been a little crazy at work and now I'm stressed. So if anyone has any ideas, please feel free to e-mail me with your suggestions.


	4. She Needs The Help

Chapter Four- She Needs The Help

Reba sat on the living room couch, folding clothes and watching some old progam on television. She wasn't really paying any attention to it though, she had other things on her mind. After an incident that landed Kyra into the hospital for a night, Reba vowed to send her to get some help...and it was tearing her up inside.

"Hey you," Jack walked in, set his keys on the table and gave Reba a kiss on the forehead.

"Hey," she replied, not taking her eyes from the shirt she was folding.

"Still worried about Kyra, huh?" Jack sat down on the couch next to her.

Reba shut the television off and turned her body to face Jack. "What if it all becomes too much for her? What if she decides that she just doesn't want to go on anymore? When I found her that night, fully clothed in the tub, the water stained red... it scared me... beyond words. What if one day, we do find her... but it's too late?" She asked, clutching the shirt in her hand, the tears threatning to spill out her eyes.

Jack took the shirt from her hand and set it down in the laundry basket, then pulled her into his arms and she rested her head on his shoulder. "Do you know the first thing she said to me after she woke up in the hospital?"

Jack shook his head no and Reba pulled herself up out of his arms. She took a deep breath and continued, "She looked over at me with no expression on her face and asked... 'why didn't you just let me die?'"

Jack reached over and grabbed her hand, squeezing it tightly, "What did you say?"

"I honestly didn't know what to say... I stood there, shocked. Then Brock jumped in. That's when we agreed right there to get her some help... it's been three weeks, and there's still no change."

"It's gonna take some time. What Kyra is feeling right now isn't going to change overnight….but with her family's support, she'll get better. She's a tough kid, deep down she knows there's a lot of people who love her and won't let this take control of her life."

"I can see it in her eyes….she's just gonna do what she wants, always has. I just hope an' pray that she makes the right decision this time."

Jack pulled her back into a hug and the tears that had been threatning to escape, made a silent trek down her cheeks. She grabbed a hold of his shirt, "I'm scared, Jack. I really am..."

* * *

"Mom? Are you awake?" Kyra asked, while slowly opening her mothers' bedroom door. It had been a month since Kyra had any real contact with any of her family members and it was around three in the morning, but Kyra had remembered that her mom said she was always there, no matter what the time was. 

Reba stirred awake at the sound of her daughters voice, she thought for a second that she might be dreaming, "honey, what're you doing here? Not that I'm complainin'….but aren't you supposed to be in…."

"I snuck out," Kyra interrupted, "mom, I need to tell you something."

Reba was upset that Kyra had snuck out in the middle of the night when she was supposed to be getting help, but Kyra _wanting _to talk to her probably meant that she might be having some sort of breakthrough. She sat upright in bed and patted the spot in front of her. "I'm all ears."

Kyra sat down on the bed. "Mom, they took me back. Took me back to the place where it happened, took me back to lay flowers on his tombstone, took me back to see his parents. Mom, I'm so sorry for what I put you and everyone else through. Talking with his parents made me realize that I didn't want to be that selfish, I didn't….don't want to put you through what they have to deal with. It's so sad, Mom….they are so sad, but they are dealing with it. I know now that I have to too. I didn't see it before but I realize that life is hard sometimes, but you have to rise above it and it will make you stronger in the end."

Reba had tears glistening in her eyes by the time Kyra had finished talking and she threw her arms around her, "You don't know how happy I am to hear you say that, Kyra. I was so worried and scared for you….but I knew somewhere, deep down inside, that in the end you would've made the right choice."

"I think the biggest thing was going back to his grave. I got to say goodbye and realized it wasn't my fault. I got to let go and have some closure. They told me I'm not 100 percent better yet, but I'm making real progress now, and I'm on my way to recovery."

"I'm so happy for you," Reba choked, a few tears sliding down her cheeks.

"I just wanted to come tell you that... I was gonna wait until the morning, but I couldn't wait to tell you."

"I'm glad you didn't, that's the best news I've heard in a long time."

"Well, I should get back….before they find out I've escaped." Kyra joked, giving her mother a hug.

"I love you with all my heart, Kyra, an' don't you ever forget it."

"I know, Mom and I love you too." Kyra smiled on her way out the door.

Reba smiled back and dabbed at her eyes with a kleenex. She looked over at the portrait that sat on her bedside table. It was of Kyra when she was ten, on her new Christmas bike. Reba grabbed the picture and held it close to her heart. "Thank you, God. I have my daughter back."

Reba fell back asleep with the biggest smile on her face.

A/N: I need your help guys. I'm not sure if I should leave this as the last chapter or if I should write a nice happy epilogue. It makes sense to leave it like this. Let me know what you think.


End file.
